an old one about not feeling anything anymore

something in me died
autumn's coming
snow is beginning to fall
up there high in the mountains
snow is beginning to fall
even down there deep inside me
hiding what was alive once
but isn't any longer
and still didn't rise like jesus did
this lack of energy  
that turns into deep sadness
nobody here
feeling me
and i am lost       
it is frosty        
at least ice keeps it safe
will it survive
till sun comes up?

tra il già e il non ancora

vaghiamo tra il già
e il non ancora
cercando di definire
l'esistente
aspettando il futuro
non capendo.
di stabile c'è solo
il peso del passato
non possiamo avanzare
siamo nani con giganti sulle spalle.
puoi solo sperare di cadere
per poterti liberare
ed arrivare al presente
ma la fiacchezza rimarrà.

open up

open your eyes
let the sun dazzle you
the rain refresh your mind.

open the window
to feel the fine breeze
or to hear the stormy winds.

open your heart
to feel the love you need
to fight the fear.

if it gets too dark
to stormy
or too cold
close the window
close your eyes
cease your thoughts
and sleep a while.

optimism

i am so lucky to be one of those people who just can be truly happy with what they have. doesn't mean i'm never discontent but i love my life in general, every part of it! doesn't mean i'm never sad or depressed or just mad at the whole world because everything is so shitty and seems without any hope or sense. but i can fit in wherever i am, whatever situation i am in, whatever place i turn out to spend some of my so precious time! i don't think it's unimportant where we are, who we are with, what decisions we take, i don't think it's the same in the end at all! but there are no wrong decisions, just new valuable experiences. everything is an opportunity to grow, that's how i see life

waking up

i hate to sleep. i hate the loss of consciousness. it's a daily excercise of dying. a daily excercise of letting go. and falling in to a dark hole of fearful weirdness.
well, i actually hate falling asleep more than sleeping. at least when you're asleep you discover your secret places, make weird journeys, you move in another dimension wich is exciting! your soul is resting, while your brain continues his work in a very free way. but lying in bed waiting for your eyes to finally close sucks. the more does the fear of the thoughts that may overcome. i know, it's probably my fault. nontheless as it seems my soul doesn't really want to rest.
because i'm too curious. i don't want to sleep, i want to see, to think, to understand. i want to live, i don't want to lose any time. sometimes i love to sleep, because i feel the urge to forget everything for a few hours, to forget to think, so i can let go this everlasting nervousness.
but i love to wake up. to a very fresh morning, a brand new day, you see the sun fighting against the clouds? an invitation to hope, an opportunity to start over again! a riminder to how damn lucky we are are and a demand to enjoy it.
#bethankful

be a part of it

stille ist beruhigend, wundervoll wohltuend, bis sie zu laut wird, und du nur noch die einsamkeit spürst. es sich dann anfühlt, als würde sich die welt nicht mehr drehen, oder sich vielleicht ohne dich weiterdrehen, und es schmerzt - spürst du es? - in den fingerspitzen, in den venen, die deinen körper weiter ernähren, wie die zarten  verbindungen mit dem universum doch auch, dem großen ganzen, aus dem du energie schöpfst, aber du nimmst es kaum wahr und du fragst dich, gehörst du überhaupt noch dazu? wann wirst du endlich bekommen was du brauchst?
du weißt doch schon längst was du willst! hör auf ständig die gleichen fragen zu stellen, du weißt es doch schon! jung und naiv bist du zwar, ja, das bin ich doch auch, das ist kein hindernis für entschlossenheit,  hör auf zu zweifeln, hör auf! du hast die kraft, du hast den willen, du hast zwar keine kontrolle... aber was zählt ist nur leichtigkeit.