restlessness

i have this constant feeling of fear and weakness bubbling through my veins... an urge to break something, or simply to break out. the impossibility to be who i am is making me restless. restlessness that is turning into sadness. and i'm still crying every day because i want time to pass more quickly, i want everythig to change, but reality is what it is and will always be.
on the other side time passing by leaves me so powerless and lonely. i try so hard to let go off things but it's so hard.