sometimes i really feel just like the little child i am. a restless one for sure, and no longer so innocent. with huge steps i'm reaching the age in which there are no excuses anymore. i guess i'm okay with that. i just need to know that you understand me, i'm not sure you ever could.
i am thankful for the ones in my life that always do.

my smile is not yours anymore

unbelievable that i believed you that i believed we could work it out how stupid you have been to think you could use me and then throw me away well we had some fun but you just went away and left me alone, but i'm far too strong i guess you'll come back or maybe not i don't care just don't expect me to be there waiting for you ha! let me laugh about you a little first and then we'll see... i may be a little too narcissistic but you gotta get that you're the lucky one if you're allowed to touch my lips remember i never forget. you better come up with a good excuse or i'll turn my back on you and give my smile to someone else.
i already did

why we die

do you ever get that weird feeling when you're looking up to the black sky full of stars that this eternal beauty repays even death? i swear i wouldn't mind if my soul flied there, i wouldn't care if this would kill me. even now.
life brings us to the the darkest places but by the day of birth we get this one guarantee: the sky and the stars, a promise that there is something more, something beyond what we can imagine. it enlightens our souls and i swear, i swear i don't care that this is what will kill us. i really came to the conviction that we die just because we can't stand this beauty. not forever.